Kingdom WHAT!
by Van 'n' Kim
Summary: Behind the scenes moments and bloopers with your favorite KH characters. Doesn't involve randomness.
1. KW Chapter 1

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Kingdom WHAT!

Story By: Kim & Van

Humor

PG

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(Beep!)

Scene: Riku calling Sora into the darkness

Riku: (holds out his hand)

Sora: (slowly reaches... into his pocket) Nope. Sorry, Riku. I don't have any money.

(Beep!)

Scene: After Story

Kairi: (singing) When you walk away, you don't hear me say, please, oh baby, don't' go, simple and-

Wakka: (steps and interrupts Kairi) Um, no hard feelings, Kairi, but you're too young for me.

(Beep!)

Scene: After Story

Kairi: (singing) Hold me, like you made me feel this morning-

Tidus: (coughs to interrupt) Um. You're too old for me, Kairi.

(Beep!)

Scene: The First Time Riku Calls Sora

Riku: (holds out hand)

Sora: (takes hand) Riku.

(Then they both start doing one of those secret handshake things.)

Kairi: Guys!

(Beep!)

Scene: Kairi Racing!

Selphie: Gee, Kairi, can I sing? (walks up stage)

Kairi: (gives the microphone over) Sure.

Selphie: (begins... singing and Kairi took Selphie's jump rope)

Sora: Where's Kairi? We've got to settle this!

Kairi: (runs up to Sora and Riku) Guys, I want to race!

Riku: Fine. But don't starting blaming when I win.

Kairi: Just try me.

Tidus: Ready... Set... GO!

Sora and Riku: (almost at the finish line, but Kairi took out the rope and tied them both! She crosses the finish line)

Tidus: Well, there isn't a rule against that.

Riku: (suddenly shouts) Sora! Don't move!

Sora: O...kay.

Riku: (stuck his leg out) I'm in second!

(Beep!)

Scene: Raft in Trouble

(Heartless begin growing on Destiny Island.)

Sora: Oh, I get it. Riku sent you, didn't he? So, beating me in a race wasn't enough, huh? Wakka, you can get out off the costume now! (happily picks one basic Heartless up) Not very tall now, are we?

Wakka: (throws Heartless into a nearby wall) Not very bounce-able, ya?

Sora: Eh... Wakka! (looks from Wakka to the struggling Heartless)

Riku: Wakka! (does the same)

Sora: Riku?

Riku: Sora?

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Kingdom WHAT!

Story By: Kim & Van

Humor

PG

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04/08/05

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	2. KW Chapter 2

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Kingdom WHAT!

Story By: Kim & Van

Humor

PG

disclaimer: I don't own kingdom heart 1

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(Beep!)

Scene: Reunion in Transverse Town, Take, uh, somewhere in the 400s I last checked u

Sora: Riku! (pulls at his cheeks) I'm not dreaming, right? (stops his pulling) Someone pinch me!

Riku: (smirks, then pinches Sora's cheek back)

(Beep!)

Scene: Women, Unite!

Riku: How about High wind?

Sora: Me? Well... Excalibur!

Riku: Hey! How about...

Sora: The usual?

Kairi: Hey! Don't I get a say in this? Oh, right, I'm just another passenger? I Thought this Was Suppose to Be "**Our**" Raft!

Riku: Well... There's a higher chance of a tie... if you race.

Kairi: (pouts) Fine. But I get to decorate the raft!

(After the race)

Sora: Let's see Kairi.

Riku: Yeah.

Sora & Riku: (Both gawk at the frilly pink decorated, bright colored raft that doesn't even "**look**" like a raft)

Kairi: Either this or I'm naming it!

(Beep!)

(Beep!)

Scene: Uses for the Keyblade

Leon: Okay, now you ask for it! Hand it over!

Sora: What do you need he Keyblade for?

Leon: Just give it! (lunges but misses)

Yuffie: (laughs) How convenient. Squall lost his key.

Leo: YUFFIE! (embarrassed)

Yuffie: Aw, Squall just want to go 'home'.

(Sora left)

Leon: Yuffie! Look at what you've done!

(Beep!)

(Beep!)

Scene: Suppose they did went exploring?

Tidus: Come on, Wakka! (goes in)

Wakka : All right, man! (follows)

(Both creep slowly into the tunnel)

Wakka: It sure is creepy in here, ya?

Tidus: Wakka, d-don't be such a-a scardey-cat!

Wakka: Listen to the boy whose teeth are clattering (bounces a ball hard on Tidus)

Tidus: (shouts) OW! (rubs head)

(They continue through the tunnel to find...)

Tidus: Wh-wha! There's nothing in here but a door!

Wakka: Oh, this is cute!

Tidus: (throws hands up) What? There's nothing in here but a door and drawings!

(Wakka turns Tidus' head)

Wakka: Look! (both walk up to a drawing)

Tidus: No way! (eyes wide)

Wakka: Sora... (eyes soften)

Tidus: How can he be so cruel!

Wakka: What!

Tidus: Look, it may look nice, but look how far it is! He's practically shoving it down Kairi's throat!

Wakka: (gasps)

Tidus: ... should we...?

Wakka: No, Sora is our friend. Just pretend we didn't see it.

Both boys ran out of the tunnel as fast as possible.

Sora: Saw anything interesting?

Wakka & Tidus: (whistling innocently, looking anywhere but him) Nope. Nothing at all.

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Kingdom WHAT!

Story By: Kim & Van

Humor

PG

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Su: (releases a sigh of satisfaction) Good story, but... (looks at Kim with an evil tint in her eyes) it needs just a 'little' bit more work.

Kim: (gulps) Oh no, you- you're going to do something really, really bad to it, aren't you? Like- like-

Su: (smile so very sweetly) Oh no, Kim! I would never, ever do such a thing to your precious story! I'm going just... add things here and there (looks straight at Kim) You trust me, right Kim? You are my friend, right?

Kim: (looks at her suspiciously) Fine, but don't warp it so much that they're nothing alike.

Su: Yay, thankies! (glomps Kim)

Kim: WAH! GET OFF OF!

Van: (looks at them oddly, then comments) You are going to regret that, Kim.

Kim: (blinks) Huh?

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	3. KW Chapter 3

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Kingdom WHAT!

Story By: Kim & Van

Humor

PG

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(Beep!)

Scene: Riku calling Sora to the darkness # 2

Riku: (holds out his hand)

Sora: (reaches for Riku's hand)

Riku: (brushes Sora's hand away)

Kairi: (appears out of nowhere and grabs Riku's hand)

(Beep!)

Scene: After Simple and Clean Re-mix/Sora's Dream

Voice: So much to do... So much to see... So little time... You never know if you don't go...

Sora: What the heck...! O.O;;

Voice: Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, oh-

Director: Yo, Voice! STOP IT!

Voice: Sorry. I can't help it.

Director: Now, do your lines!

Voice: But my lines are similar to the song and I get this urge to-

Director: (veins near bursting) DO IT!

(Beep!)

Scene: Final Fantasy

Kairi: Tidus?

Tidus: Shut up! I'm busy! I'm doing a sport!

Kairi: (with hands on her hips) You'll never go where by doing this sport.

Tidus: (with veins popping out of his forehead; mad and throughly annoyed) Oh yeah! You'll see! Blitzball will be the best and I'll be its champ!

Kairi: (rolls her eyes) Yeah, sure... (leaves)

**T**(/)**O**(/)**T**(/)**H**(/)**E**(/)**F**(/)**U**(/)**T**(/)**U**(/)**R**(/)**E**(/)

Announcer: ... right... then left and... ohh, Tidus does it again!

Crowd: (cheers wildly)

Announcer: Please say hello to our first ever Blitz... Ball... CHAMPION!

Crowd: (cheers even more and some chanting) TIDUS! TIDUS! TIDUS!

**T**(/)**O**(/)**W**(/)**H**(/)**E**(/)**R**(/)**E**(/)**K**(/)**A**(/)**I**(/)**R**(/)**I**(/)**I**(/)**S**(/)

Kairi is on the couch, languidly flipping through television channels, and finding absolutely NOTHING on.

Kairi: Even with over 300 channels (yawns) nothing good is ever on.

TV: -... so call now to get your own blown up doll of Britney Sp- (click)

...our Blitzball...CHAMPION! (Background: TIDUS! TIDUS!) (cli-...

Kairi: (O.O) huh?

TV: (the screen shows Tidus, the Blitzball Champ, holding up a trophy, then yells) I TOLD YOU SO, KAIRI!

Fans in the TV: (cheers wildly)

Kairi: (O.O)

(Beep!)

Scene: Paopu Moment

Riku: Sora! (tosses him something) You wanted one, didn't you?

Sora: (gapes) A... A... BRITNEY SPEARS CD?

Riku: (runs away with, no doubt, a smirk on his face)

Sora: RIKU! (throws the CD as far away from him as possible) I'll get you for this!

(Beep!)

Scene: Group Discussion

Riku: We never know. So let's go.

Kairi: You've been thinking about this, haven't you, Riku?

Sora: (-.- ZzzZzz... ZzzZzz...)

Riku: Hey! (throws a coconut) Wake up!

Sora: (with eyes still closed, stood up straight) State Alchemist Edward Elric Reporting for Duty, Sir!

Riku: (stares) I don't believe it...

Sora: (lays back down) -.- Zzz... ZzzZzz...

Riku: (O.o) He's**_ still_** sleeping?

Kairi: Riku! This is an opportunity!

(Beep!)

Scene: Cloud gives gift

Cloud: Don't lose sight of this (gives Sora something)

Sora: (? O.o ?) Hey! How am I suppose to not lose sight of something I can't see!

Cloud: (angry) I **told** you not to lose sight of it!

(Beep!)

Scene: Cloud gives gift # 2

Cloud: Don't lose sight of this (gives Sora something)

Sora: (OoO) What the heck! The Britney Spears CD! I thought I threw that away!

Cloud: (grins widely, stifling hysteric laughter) Glad to see it, huh? (Runs off)

Sora: (throws the CD away from him, only farther away this time) I'll get you for this, Cloud!

(Beep!)

Scene: Cloud speaks with Hades

Cloud: The Great God of the Underworld... is afraid of a... kid?

Hades: Well... not exactly.

Cloud: (smirks and slowly pulls out ...)

Hades: AHHH! Keep it away from me! Keep it away!

Cloud: (using a squeaky voice while holding a Sora plushie) But why Hades? I want to be your FRIEND!

Hades: AHH! Cloud, stop it! (backs away more quickly)

Cloud: (continuing his use of the squeaky voice and then makes the Sora plushie hug Hades) I like you, Hades. Let's be friends forever and ever!

Hades: (explodes) NOOOO! (plushie burns to ashes)

Cloud: (blinks) That's something that you don't see everyday.

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Kingdom WHAT!

Story By: Kim & Van

Humor

PG

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	4. KW Chapter 4

Van: Hey, Finally updated after so long, um. First I forgot to mention that in some of these scenes in the past chapters, would have a little OOC-ness in them. I'm so SORRY! And sorry to say but Su's story has been discontinued. WAH! Su, people loved your story. By the way, if you have any ideas, SHARE THEM! And I'll post them up as soon as possible.

Disclaimer: Don't own ANYTHING

/Beep/ Secret place 2

Tidus: Phew! This day is really hot/Wipes brow/

Wakka: Let's go find some shade, yah?

/Both walked into the "secret place"/

Tidus: Say, Wakka? This looks familiar… /looks at pictures/

Wakka: Yah… Wonder why…

Tidus/sees a particular picture of Sora and Kairi's paopu giving/ WAKKA! LOOK! LOOK!

/Hides behind Wakka/

Wakka: What/Suddenly realizes where they are/ Not THIS place!

Tidus: Even worse. Look at the picture!

Wakka/looks/ AAAAAAHHHHH!

Tidus: They're planning to kill each other by shoving paopu fruit into their throats!

Wakka: I'm scared now.

Tidus: I won't tell if you won't.

/Beep/ Race you!

Sora: If I win, I'm captain. And if you win…

Riku: I get to share the paopu with Kairi.

Sora: What?

Riku: The winner gets to share a paopu with Kairi.

Sora: What! Did you hear that, Kairi?

Kairi: Yep! One of you will be captain!

Sora: No… Wait, I… /flustered/

Kairi: Ready? GO!

Riku: See you later Sora! Runs off 

Sora: Hey! No fair!

/Beep/ Racing

Kairi-Ready go!

Sora-/runs ahead laughing at Riku/

Riku-/tries to run faster/

Sora-/runs smack into a palm tree/

Kairi- /Sweatdrop/

A/N: Read and review everybody! As for the last scene, it was sent by kittie! Thanks kittie! Any ideas are welcome!


	5. KW Chapter 5

Kim: Whew! Finally! Some inspiration!

Van: Just had to play the whole game from the beginning didn't you?

Kim: Thanks Van, you're a really good editor.

(Beep!) Beginning music video scene

You're giving me…

(Sora stares at the water warily)

So many things lately

(Riku turns around in the water and holds out his hand)

You're all I need…

(Music stops with a screech)

Tidus: Cut! Sora, what's the matter?

Sora: (nervous laugh) Did I forget to mention I'm hydrophobic?

Tidus: Sora, it's not that bad! Look at Riku!

(tidal wave goes in and Riku gags and thrashes in the water)

Sora: (wide eyes) Now I'm really not going in! You can't make me!

(Beep!) After Sora beats Clayton

Jafar: What drew the heartless to that world?

Malificent: How should I know?

Jafar: What! You've been working with the heartless so many times! Surely you know!

Malificent: Oh don't say that! People will think I'm old!

Oogie Boogie: So what else is new?

Malificent: Oh, so you're all against me!

Ursula: Leave us outta this!

Hades: Oy, I am out of here.

Malificent: What? Terrified of my power?

Captain Hook: Hades, don't leave us here, I'll follow you! (leaves)

Malificent: Come back here, coward!

(Beep!) Sora talks with Tidus

Tidus: I think you've gotten stronger, but odds are, you're still no match for Riku, we took him on last timeand he whipped us all. Ah, well… I guess Kairi can always count on him.

Sora: That's NOT true! I beated him!

Tidus: Really? How many times?

Sora: (triumphant) Once.

(Tidus rolls on the ground laughing)

Tidus: Bwahahahahahaha!

Sora: (indignant) I'm working on it!

(Beep!) Sora talks with Selphie

Selphie: Aah… The breeze feels great. What's with you, Sora? We hardly ever see you.

Sora: All you have to do is look at the shoreline and I'm there snoozing.

Selphie: (widens eyes) But last time, you said you're always at the tree house!

(kairi who was passing by, walks up to Sora and bonked his head)

Sora: Ow!

Kairi: You dummy. This time he's telling the truth, Selphie.

(Beep!) Sora talks to Tidus again

Tidus: Hey, Sora, You feel lucky today?

Sora: Yep.

Tidus: Well, you seem to be in a cheerful mood.

Sora: Hey, I've just won the lottery. How luckier can I get?

Kim: Yay! R&R!


End file.
